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9 tips for London

There seems to be the chance that i might be a’traveling to the fair US for one of my clients (a most exciting prospect), but how to act like a native in any given city: NY, Chicago or Detroit, anyone got any tips?

In return i offer 9 beginner tips for the joy that is London town.

1) Please stand on the right on escalators, the left is the fast lane (it is very defiantly not the “I have huge luggage and like to block peoples way” lane)
2) Public transport is the norm, both buses and trains/tube are used by ‘suits’, there’s no shame in it.
3) Its impossible to walk round anywhere without being given at least 3 free newspapers, they are mostly drivel.
4) You WILL get badly drunk (its the countries fav pastime), and it WILL cost you a fortune
5) Teenagers are the most dangerous thing in London (and that would include velociraptors if they had a colony in Trafalgar square) I’m not joking
6) All late nights will end up at a curry house (its a strange gravitation effect)
7) The only cabs to trust are the oddly shaped black ones.
8) Any inclement weather of any description with bring the city to a standstill for example “the wrong sort of sunshine”
9) If you get your self injured in our fair city, don’t worry, you don’t need any money or insurance, we got it covered as a freebie :)

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