Have you ever had a manager or customer request something on an impossible timeline, then try to make it official by scheduling a meeting to “go through your solution”? It’s a newer variation on an old management trick, made even more prevalent now that so many of our meetings are virtual.
Here’s how it typically goes: they say, “I need this done by X date.” You push back, explaining you’re fully committed or simply can’t meet that deadline. In response, they book a meeting with the client (or other stakeholders) on that exact date, framing it as a status update or progress report. This sets the stage for them to publicly ask, “So, have you completed the work?”
Why They Do It
By scheduling the meeting, they’re applying social pressure. They know that if you miss the deadline, it’ll be embarrassing, especially with an audience. It’s an implicit “shame threat” designed to force compliance.
The Best Way to Respond
In my experience, the best countermeasure is to be completely straightforward, even coldly formal. When they first propose the meeting, immediately reply with something like,
“Yes, I accept the invite, but as stated, I won’t have the work completed by that time due to other commitments.” Put it in writing. That way, if they still follow through with the meeting and call on you in front of everyone, you can calmly respond with,
“No, I don’t have the work done yet, just as I explained in our prior conversation and in my email. I had other priorities that couldn’t be shifted.”
If they try to shift blame or push the issue, stand firm. Offer to include the other stakeholders or teams you’re already committed to, so it’s clear where your time and energy have been allocated. The point is to make sure there’s a record of your prior warning and to be prepared to defend your work.
Having Thick Skin
Let’s be honest, this can feel uncomfortable. No one likes to be confronted or called out publicly. But often, you just have to endure that discomfort once with each manager who tries this tactic. Once they see you’re not afraid to stand your ground, they usually don’t try it again.
Wrapping Up
Deadlines are a reality of work, but forcing them through “shame meetings” is both unprofessional and disrespectful. If you find yourself in that situation, don’t back down.
Communicate your constraints, hold your ground, and let them know you won’t be pressured into an impossible timeline. It might be awkward in the moment, but in the long run, it establishes a working boundary.