Proof that my colleagues and I need a holiday (and to not be fixing 100 problems at once)

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The names of the innocent have been removed:

Ben Poole … Special: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=lBbCvCtkDMY – you must LISTEN 😀
Ben Poole … this will explain my documentation…
Mark Myers … nothing explains your documentation
Ben Poole … No no, this WILL
Ben Poole … Shout if you need the lyrics.
Ben Poole … cough
Mark Myers … question?
Ben Poole … answer
Mark Myers … your wife and children?, do they live in fear of the night?
Ben Poole … it’s the best way to control them
Mark Myers … Address: Bens family, Hidding under the strairs in terror, No XX, South london, england
Ben Poole … 😀
Ben Poole … No, I fill their lives with joy. Like the song says: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=xY03n3QCLes
Mark Myers … your not working at home tomorrow because of a holiday, your at home because its the “time of the change”
Ben Poole … don’t be ridiculous
Ben Poole … It’s not a full moon tomorrow
Mark Myers … quite right, this weekend is the sacred green jelly sabbath
Ben Poole … no, this weekend is when I’m in Elveden forest
Ben Poole … I shall be frolicing naked as the day I was born with the Suffolk elves
Ben Poole … Probably singing the monkey song
Mark Myers … you know the phrase allways worried me “naked as the day I was born” what happens if you were born wearing a hazmat suit,
Ben Poole … Well then “naked as the day i was born” would mean “not that naked”
Ben Poole … i.e., wearing a hazmat suit
Ben Poole … quite simple really
Mark Myers … ah ha, so you admit the crime of hazmat suit breeding!!
Ben Poole … I admit nothing
Ben Poole … I have nothing to declare except my genius
Ben Poole … as the saying goes
Mark Myers … So, nothing to declare then?
Ben Poole … shyte, walked into that one
Mark Myers … its the wood elves they poison your mind, switch to the side of the pizies (they have dental)
Ben Poole … Ah, but sharp teeth: a real no-no with mischievous woodland creatures, esp. if you’re in the habit of dancing in the buff with them

Your Code is in good hands

Cognos Domino Integration Code

Posted on by Mark Myers Leave a comment

Some of you may have heard of Cognos (version 8), its one of IBM’s business planning bits of software that always get managers more excited than is good for an English gentleman, but for the rest of us it means one thing, reports… wo wo woohhhh, stay!!!, don’t shut down the site yet, i know you have had it up to your nostril hairs with reports but that’s not what I’m on about, I’m just going to share the pain (and eventual joy), of getting it all working in domino, so that your managers/clients can get reports off a congnos server cleanly and see them in domino, through one web service port. so here we go.

firstly, cognos is a chunk of java working on an apache box, regardless of the fact you might think its working on IIS, its reached by port 9300 (by default),

I know this sounds dumb, but I’m just going to stuff the code in with a heap load of comments in it, the reason for this is i spend ages searching the net for help with cognos stuff and other than cognoses own HEAVILY protected site (cor! don’t they want you to hire a congnos consultant), there’s is only one free support site, so i want to make it as google friendly as possible., also this code depends on you having the cognos SDK (which as far as I’m aware costs about $10000), I’m pretty sure that if i put the necessary cognos jar files from the SDK up here i would be sued to within an inch of my life, but in case you have it they are: axisCognosClient.jar, cognos-axis.jar, cognosClient.jar, axisReportNetClient.jar) anyway, click on the attachment link to get the code (its too long to just paste into blogshpere)

Lucky Devil

Posted on by Mark Myers Leave a comment

I’ve just had the most amazing bit of news, I have been asked to go an booth babe at LotusSphere, i cant believe it!!!, as there was no way i could have afforded it otherwise, now is just have to give the impression that i know what I’m doing (grin), the plus side for this blog is that i have to keep up a steady stream of useful entries so its/I’m not an embarrassment, ahhh well, roll on Jan the 17th, (happy dance)

Even more good news comes in the form of the London Developer Co-op, which im doing with Matt White, Ben Poole, Rob Wills, and a few others (who have not got round to giving me their profiles the lazy sods), strange as it may seem i reckon the credit crunch is the right time to do something like this, to give big consultancy quality of service but built up of small consultancy parts to give a small consultancy price.