Life can sometimes just feel too stressful for complete happiness. With all this contract-related stress at work hanging over me, I just don’t feel like fencing. It’s not the fencing itself; it’s all the traveling when all I really want is sleep, or, in my case, time to handle work-related tasks.
This has been my third week of skiving, and it’s definitely going to be the last! Unfortunately, I can’t fence tomorrow either, as I’m meeting my accountant. So, in the last three weeks, I will have only attended two club nights, one lesson, and two squash games. That’s shockingly poor, ideally, I should have managed twelve club nights, six lessons, and three squash games. Still, I’ll sort it all out and get back on form.
On another note, has anybody else noticed the weird effects fencing has on other sports? Take squash, for example. I used to enjoy it and was quite good during school, but now I’m completely useless, and it’s all fencing’s fault. I lunge for every ball, and if it gets too close, I instinctively attempt to “prime” it, which clearly doesn’t work and usually results in funny looks and sarcastic comments from opponents.
Additionally, the subconscious urge to stab your opponent with your racket rather than chase the ball doesn’t exactly promote “fair play” (though it certainly improves your score when your opponent hides in a corner). Even my sense of distance is completely messed up. If a ball goes over my head, do I turn around and hit it properly? No, I shuffle backward and crash into the wall, usually getting hit on the head by the ball for my trouble.
Moreover, fencing terminology slips into everyday speech, confusing non-fencers. Referring to points as “hits” and matches as “fights” tends to unsettle others. And no matter how tempting it may be, never attempt a flèche on a squash court, there simply isn’t enough room, as evidenced by the Stickfight-shaped holes at Harbor Exchange courts!
On the bright side of fencing, someone finally bought one of my t-shirts from Zazzle, prompting me to improve the website layout. Although sorting the CSS was a huge pain, especially ensuring cross-browser compatibility without using tables, it’s finally done, thanks to some online help. Please let me know if it needs further tweaks.
Jo Maynard is making fantastic progress with digital art and will hopefully have her own section here soon. For now, check out her work at http://pwincess.deviantart.com.
Leicester is coming soon, and I am determined not to mess it up! Normally, it’s scheduled on my eldest child’s birthday, but this year they’re off to Euro Disney with classmates and parents, frankly, being stuck on a coach with all those kids and parents sounds nightmarish to me. So,
I’ve got the weekend free to fence. If I achieve a good top 32, I might sneak into the top 50 rankings, but that’s a sad calculation and probably best left unspoken.
Lessons with Steve have been fantastic lately. He’s really pushing me mentally and physically, delivering varied and challenging lessons each week. It’s unfortunate he’s been unwell recently, and my lessons might reduce due to possible workplace changes, but that’s the life of a contractor.
At the moment, I’m living a bit like a fencing hobo (have sword, will travel) while waiting for “42” to finalise his house move. I’m sharing space with Jo and Marc’s pets, and it’s been eye-opening to see how hard coaches actually work behind the scenes, so spare a thought for them next time you think they’ve got it easy.
It’s been a while since I had a good rant, so let’s dive in. Bristol was another competition, another messed-up pool round, and another exit in the 64. However, I did enjoy a sweet moment of revenge by beating an opponent who previously defeated me. Although Tristan Parris later thrashed me, breaking a sword and leaving me battered, I at least got some good footage for a recent video. Thanks to my loyal readers, Stickfight made it into the top 20 fencing websites globally!
Sadly, I missed Sussex due to family commitments; my son insisted I stay home. But I’ve added new t-shirts (54 designs now!) and received our first submission from “Tarmac” on FencingForum.com. Heriot-Watt University will also use Stickfight movies at their sports fair, very cool!
Feeling miffed about missing Sussex (especially with Ben Measures placing Last 4!), I’ve ended up doing DIY at home.
Today’s my first lesson with Steve in two weeks, he’s had back problems, and I’m dreading how rusty I’ll be after minimal practice.
One bizarre occurrence recently involved mysteriously discovering toothpaste on my shoulder at work, with no clue how it got there despite thorough investigation, a truly baffling mystery.
I recently joined Haverstock, where I’m enjoying tougher competition, and had my first intense, satisfying lesson with Marek. The facilities are great, apart from slightly ominous-looking showers!
Bristol competitions can be alarming: during female foil and sabre events, unsettling noises reminiscent of “Barbarella” make foilists and sabreurs appear terrifying. Honestly, I sometimes think they should all be locked away.
At the season’s first competition, illness kept me from performing well. I scraped through pools embarrassingly, mostly against teammates from various clubs I attend. I narrowly lost in the 64 after a stern (but motivating) pep talk from Chris Howser. Although frustrated, I appreciated the humorous moment provided by Hugo from Haverstock, whose confusion over photo-taking led to a memorable video moment.
Finally, a quick family anecdote: my son’s fencing weapon preference was humorously revealed when I jokingly mooned my family, only for him to express disgust, not at the gesture, but at the train ticket clenched in my teeth, revealing him tragically as a potential foilist!
That’s all for now, I have plenty more rants coming soon!